For most of the Villa game, the only sounds you could hear were of the Sky executive who booked the game for TV clearing his desk and phoning the family to say this year’s holidays would be in Grimsby, not Gstaad.
Pretty ropey stuff for the most part.
It was a bit like watching Jude Law and George Clooney fighting over a date with Anne Widdicombe.
In the sense that at least we found the net, we deserved to win, but for the most part it was huff and puff to little effect and the hope visiting Villa were just as wasteful.
Fortunately, that was the case.
The absence of Yohan Cabaye was marked as we approached the area and froze.
The trigger line which means we cross into the area as soon as we breach it was much in evidence and poor old Papiss Cisse still views the nets as a vegan views a pile of pork pies.
Still, 40 points have arrived earlier than most would have bet on it after last season and the coveted ninth place remains within reach.
Another week and another newspaper banned. At this rate, our next appointment will be a town crier to broadcast our news.
Luckily, this regime never used sympathetic journalists to their own end, thereby allowing them to take the high moral ground.
I am still bemused by our acceptance of mid-table this season and the failure to take advantage of our unexpected pre-Christmas form.
The Villa game spoke volumes about the need for more competition for places and genuine investment.
Maybe we should change our name to Debenhams, and hope for a cheque from SD’s vast profit.
Surely as our profile slips then television will disappear (particularly after yesterday), meaning less exposure for Ashley’s ubiquitous advertising?
More stagnation and the only viewers for our games will be a few thousands locals huddled over a ropey laptop feed, disparate groups of ex-pats and a tribe of sandstorm-bound Tuaregs considering us a better option than ‘Dancing with Camels’ on local telly.
All that said, I have been encouraged by an e-mail to be more positive towards the club.
Therefore I can take pride in the fact yet again we will not be relegated and we are not owned by a barmpot from Malaysia who wants to change our strips to Space suits.