Everyone still wants to knock Newcastle

“ROLL up, roll up, have a shot at Newcastle United, only £3.5m a go.” I see Sou-mess has joined the bitter ex-failures club with Allardyce.

Paul Dixon has been following Newcastle United for more than 35 years, 16 of which have been as a season ticket holder in the Gallowgate End at St James’s Park. Each week in his column, he takes a wry look at all things football – from a black-and-white perspective.

“ROLL up, roll up, have a shot at Newcastle United, only £3.5m a go.”

I see Sou-mess has joined the bitter ex-failures club with Allardyce. We aren’t a big club, he says, a subjective term anyway. Maybe we aren’t a big club because people like him couldn’t bring any success, despite playing in front of full houses and having buckets of money to spend. Haven’t exactly been deluged with offers since have they?

Whatever arguments Souness puts forward, I will counter them with three words: Jean Alain Boumsong. A defender who Titus Bramble credits with teaching him everything he knows.

“Boumsong will be a sensation at the World Cup” he stated, and to be fair, the French manager said the team’s boots had never looked so polished.

The words of Sir Alec Guinness can best describe Sou-mess and Allardyce: “Failure has a thousand explanations, success doesn’t need one”.

Life’s full of surprises isn’t it? In the halcyon days when I was employed, to help the job along I switched on my iPod to spend a blissful couple of hours with Led Zep and the Georgia Satellites.

Instead of the dulcet tones of Robert Plant and Dan Baird, my ears were assaulted by what sounded like a 12-year-old boy sucking helium while his parents hammered on his bedroom door, followed by a menacing sounding home-boy rapper from a ghetto accompanied by 3cwt of Primark jewellery. My youngest daughter’s iPod of course.

This goes to show that you sometimes don’t get what you expected, and 4-1 away to Spurs was definitely not what I expected! We always score at least three against that lot, but I certainly wasn’t anticipating this rout.

In the interests of fairness, I dump all over the team when they’re rubbish, so it’s only right I scatter scented rose petals in front of them after a performance like this.

Mind you, I fully expect Allardyce to be all over the papers this week claiming the victory for himself. Onwards and upwards, chaps. Derby day approaches.

blackadderboy@yahoo.co.uk

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