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Dolly Parton: The country music queen of the one liner

The country superstar comes to the Metro Radio Arena this weekend and will doubtless bring her quick wit as well as her legendary back catalogue

Superstar Dolly Parton who is coming to the Metro Radio Arena
Superstar Dolly Parton who is coming to the Metro Radio Arena

The inimitable Dolly Parton brings her infectious energy and country classics back catalogue to Tyneside this weekend for a glittering show at the Metro Radio Arena.

As she cracks on with the long list of UK dates on her Blue Smoke World Tour - and prepares for an inspired slot at Glastonbury no less - we felt like gathering a few of the loveable superstar’s best quotes together for fun - both ours and yours.

Known as a walking monument to plastic surgery - as well as an enduring and incredibly talented songwriter and top rate performer of course - Dolly is also a master of the one-liner. Particularly when it comes to talking about herself.

Here’s a selection of our favourites over the years... feel free to add any you think we’ve missed in the comments box below.

Meanwhile we’re looking forward to some Dolly banter from the stage on Saturday night.

 

Here's some Dolly classics...

“I like to buy clothes that are two sizes too small and then take them in a little.”

“I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.

“After Momma gave birth to twelve of us kids, we put her up on a pedestal. It was mostly to keep Daddy away from her.”

“It’s a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I’d be a drag queen.”

“It costs a lot of money to look this cheap”

“I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb... and I also know that I’m not blonde.”

(Dolly talking about a scene with Queen Latifah in Joyful Noise): “I was kind of sore after we’d finished filming our headlock, because she’s a big girl. Looking at us was like watching an Amazonian holding a pygmy.”

“If I see something sagging, bagging or dragging I’ll get it nipped, tucked or sucked.”

“I was the first woman to burn my bra - it took the fire department four days to put it out.”

“I hope people realise that there is a brain underneath the hair and a heart underneath the boobs.”

“I describe my look as a blend of Mother Goose, Cinderella, and the local hooker!”

“People always ask me how long it takes to do my hair. I don’t know, I’m never there.”

“They got me busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest.”

“If I have one more face-lift I’ll have a beard.”

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park.

:: Dolly Parton will play a concert at the Metro Radio Arena on Saturday. For tickets, call 0844 493 6666 or visit www.metroradioarena.co.uk

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